Self-Sabotage

 "He must increase, but I must decrease."
   (John 3:30-36 ESV)

 

I have arrogantly waved my flag of independence.

But now it’s time for me to surrender…

I am guilty as charged; I waive my rights as the defendant

It finally caught up with me – all of the crimes I’ve committed

In the name of freedom have turned me into a captive and a drone

I now stand alone in the courtroom of my own tyranny;

Tattoo on my chest – “Only God can judge me”

But right now, that’s the last thing I wanna confess

If I truly believe my ink, then this is gonna stink…

Because I’ve got a fink of a conscious

And my sandcastle kingdom is about to start crumbling all around me

When sandcastles fall, do they make a sound? No.

They just collapse and fold; quietly suffocating everything and everyone inside

So this is what it feels like when ants die…who knew…

 

You’ve heard it a hundred times before:

Man gains the whole world and loses soul

But you never think you’ll be the one to make the headline

Because you know the score

But I forgot to factor in what would happen when I lost count

Of what should’ve counted most – I started counting in ounces

Now, the weight of self-glory doesn’t measure up on the scales of eternal justice

I’ve committed the crime of a lifetime

Only to find out that my getaway car has an engine that’s busted

Crime doesn’t pay because the Law never sleeps

The Judge owns the cattle on a thousand hills and He knows all of the sheep

 

Then there’s me; making my last stand with no leg to stand on

And my accomplice now stands as the prosecutor –

Accusing me of abusing and mistreating his daughter, even though he introduced us

And practically begged me to marry her

But our picture perfect matrimony ended in a bad scene -

Her standing there holding my coat

Playing the role of hapless victim (a performance worthy of the silver screen)

While I play the sucker and the scapegoat

I should’ve said no when he asked, but you know me and my ego

We love to impress people…

By the way, conversations never end well when they convene at the top of a steeple

And now all she wants them to do is give me the needle

 

I had a desire for her beauty and she was murder for hire

And I went along for the ride; running from this trial for a while now

And it’s left me used up and tired

At this point, invoking my Fifth Amendment right would be a mistake

And an attempt at a daylight escape, to say the least, would be fruitless

 

It’s useless…I stand in contempt

I’ve committed treason and for no other reason than I just wanted to be myself

But now in this moment, I can think of nothing sweeter

Than switching places with someone else

This is the hand I’ve dealt from the bottom of the deck

And there’s only one viable option …

 

‘Kill the mirage of yourself as God.’

Our Father who is in Heaven, with who I’m currently at odds…

 

 

Soli Deo Gloria,

Shon

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